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User blog:StrongBadHR90/Back To 2012: David Cardino
Well, it's time we go back to the dark ages of Nick Fanon. Back to when the immature people ruled over this wikia. Introduction David Cardino (if you don't know him) was a user on this wiki who claimed to be 16 years old, but acted like a 5 year old. Some people say he was way younger, but I believe he was 16, but with the mindset of a 7 - 11 year old. He joined on the 24th of January 2012. With his first comment, on What is ur fav SB episode?. His comment. "My favorite Season 1 episode was Rock Bottom,my favorite Season 2 was Chocolate With Nuts,and my favorite Season 3 episode was SpongeGaurd On Duty." The first thing you'll notice is that his typing is terribly off for a 16-year-old. And he could've just looked that up, but Chocolate With Nuts is from Season 3, so I am assuming he just didn't care and randomly guessed. Clues Another comment on a post about h8ing on Mondays was this gem that is pretty useful in finding out this. "I hate Mondays with a passion.I have to wake up,go to school,do homework,and go to bed early.Yesterday (Monday) my parents woke me up at 6 in the morning! I wake up at 7:00!" If you were 16, you'd be at school before 7am. So I can pretty much assume that "16" stuff is bullshit. "Then when I got out of bed I tripped on my skateboard! Then I dropped my sweater in the bathroom!" Wow! What a big deal! "At breakfast,while I was eating my cereal and getting ready for school,my dad changed the channel while I was watching SpongeBob! 'HEY!' I yelled.'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!'" You don't yell at somebody for changing the channel, if you were 16, you'd probably have a TV of your own, unless you hated doing chores, which this kid probably does. "my dad yelled.Then my mom came over and grounded me.'SHUT UP!' I yelled.Then we all got in a fight." You don't talk to women like that (personal experience) "Then,when I got on the bus I said I wanted a seat by the window they gave me a middle seat.I was being scrunched n smushed! Then when I got to school my teacher gave me a lot of work to do." Oh no! Work! My hand will fall off! "At gym,I got a lot of push ups,and at music my music teacher said I was singning too loud".Then at recess" Wait a minute, he is NOT ''16, that is now pure bullshit, you don't have recess in high school. "my friends were mean to me.First of all Ed and Bobby were saying i'm fat,Jim called me names,and Vinnie constantly said WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU to me!" Well, I can see where they get that. "So then I yelled SHUT UP to him! Then he growled at me! At lunch,I threw up and everyone started teasing me! 'Let's post that David threw up on Facebook!' said Daphne." Yeah, because in elementary school, you're allowed to have phones with you. "Then I said 'NO!'" Oh you fucking deserve it. "Then Kevin said 'when David goes away were gonna have a party!' Then I said 'stop it!' Then Kate said I was lame.After,that she said I was annoying." She is right. "Then everyone started laughing at me! So then when I yelled 'CAN IT!' they said 'GO AWAY!'" You are a clown, you're a professional already! "Then I just stomped away.Then I heard Kevin say 'you just gotta show him whos boss' and then started laughing at me again." Well, by the end of this, I'll be laughing so much I'll fucking cry. "Then after school mom took us (me,little sister,big brother) to CVS.When we were there my little sister blew on me,which was very annoying." Oh, shaddap, it's wind. "Then I called her an idiot.Then my mom scolded at me." Yeah, because that is a mother's job. "When we left CVS the automatic door closed on my hand.In the parking lot my big brother pushed me into the mud." Oh, it's mud, it's not needles, get over it. "Then I started crying because of the mud." Yeah, because crying solves damn everything. "Then my little sister called me a baby,and then I spitted on her.Then my mom scolded at me AGAIN for being muddy and spitting on my little sister." It's a mother's job! "Then we went to the supermarket to buy a cake.My little sister wanted a vanilla cake with pink frosting and got one.My big brother wanted a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and sprinkles.I wanted a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting and sprinkles but the man at the bakery counter said that they were all out." Such a thing to get worked up about. "He made me buy a vanila cake with vanila frosting.Tasty but boring." How can cake be boring? "Then we went to pick up dad.He said I couldn't play with his copy machine but I didn't listen,then I dropped the books on his desk,and then I broke his pencils and spilled the ink.The my dad rolled his eyes and punched me in the face!" Good, you deserve it. "I had to eat spinach for dinner and there was a wedding show on TV.My shower was cold,my mom forgot to buy shampoo,my little yo yo went down the drain,and to top it off I had to go to bed early! At bedtime my blanket ripped,my favorite nightlight burned out,and I stubed my toe.My favorite pillow was in the wash.Curse you Monday,CURSE YOU!" Good Mondays, terrorize David. I also found this post from April, 2012. "The bad news is that The Fresh Beat Band is performing at an arena near me called 'The King Center'.The good news,we can kill them! By how? I need you guys to go on a vacation in Melbourne,FL (where I live),and shoot The FBB on opening night!" The problem I see, is that he thinks that killing a band for children is completely innocent, in reality, it is NOT, if he wen't through with this, he would end up in fucking jail, and he would never come out, and as for our wiki. We'd be a sheet of crumbled up paper. And this gem where he goes apeshit over somebody liking different things. "Some dude on TV.com named 'RetroClassics07' has the stupidest opinion EVER! He thinks that Ren & Stimpy is disgusting and disturbing!" Sometimes it kind of is, so... "I know MattBoo is not allowed to watch R&S,but COME ON!!! Next,he hates Maya & Miguel (an epic show on PBS.)" Oh, now Maya and Miguel, you throw a hissy fit over someone not liking Maya and Miguel, I'm sorry but you are an idiot for dissing somebody over disliking a show you are not even in the audience for. "What's worse? HE LIKES BARNEY! Is this dude nuts?!" OK, why dislike somebody for liking a show you are ''NOT EVEN IN THE AUDIENCE FOR!!! You are nuts, David. "Then,he says that America's Funniest Home Videos is cheesey! What the heck?!" Well, damn anything from America can be cheesy if you're a Brit. "The main reason why he should be put in a mental hospital for life,is that HE'S A SPONGEBOB HATER!" Are, you, FUCKING, KIDDING ME! You can't wish someone to firey death due to an opinion they have. SpongeBob was a good show at one point, and now, it is pure bile, made by people with the mindset that teenage girls (Nickelodeon's primary audience) will find that funny. LT Fan Dies Wiki Time to talk about this gem... I don't have everything of this wiki, in fact I have hardly anything, but it still exists. "Back in 2011,a user on Nick Fanon Wiki,named LT Fan put Dora in the current on NickTV." That little description will play a big part in this conspiracy. "Everyone started hating him" Yes, everyone makes a big deal over one show not for them being on a channel aimed for them, that is not, common sense, which David hardly has at all. "and MattBoo (A better user),put Dora in the former." Now, David admired MattBoo. Way to much. "Everyone on Nick Fanon Wiki must kill him! :D" Lemme get this straight, you wan't to KILL every fan of DORA the EXPLORER, because they are FANS? You are messed up. A Chat With David Cardino Tonight, I had a wonderful chat with David. Homestar and david-1.png|He's really mature... Homestar and david-2.png|Too mature... Damn, more scratches. To let you know, I am about to show my Christianity, so if you don't agree with some of the things I say in this section, you can skip it. Also, David hated most of his family, as I have mentioned above. But here is more, in case that wasn't enough. "My aunt Maryann is comming over tonight and everytime she comes over its a nightmare!" She's family, why do you have to be this butthurt over family? "I have to be stuck watching the news,she ALWAYS changes the channel on me while watching Regular Show," Well, at least the news is informative. Regular Show, isn't. Have you ever thought about getting a TV in your room, God blessed you to even have a TV, because God is a nice person. "and of course I have to put up with a ton of snorting at the dinner table!" Because snorting at the dinner table is worse than being raped by a pack of wolves. "PLEASE TELL ME WHY VISITS FROM YOUR AUNT CAN BE SO ANNOYING!" You should be blessed to even have an aunt, as God gave you her, and you won't have her forever. Love your aunt like God loves you. Now that I got my Christian stuff out, I'm going back on track with this. I can prove that David is also a friend of the Illuminati. *David has three occupations. *A triangle has 3 sides. *David has 5,081 edits. *The Illuminati has one eye. I'm not done... *David has 5,081 edits. *He was blocked on May 28, 2012 for 1 day and 4 hours. *14 is 41 backwards, 41 is the second part of the number I am subtracting. *He made his 900th edit on March 2'4', 2012, 4 is the first part of the number. *He has 5,081 edits, 5 is the last part of the number. *5,081 - 4415 = 666 Oh, that's silly, back on topic. From a 2012 message wall. "O_O.I just said that because that was what Rainbow Dash was doing in the new MLP:FiM episode 'MMMystery On The Friendship Express'" Pfft! Ewwwwwww, well seeing that bronies are pure cancer (Matt, I don't mean you, if you're even reading this, I doubt he is, he's gone, from what I know), I can only imagine what David was like... "When Pinkie Pie thought she took a bite out of the cake Rainbow Dash said 'I don't even like cake.'I was like 'WTH?!'" Not everyone likes cake, in fact, one of my best friends is allergic to egg. "Then at the end of the episode it was revealed that she did" From the same thread, "Oh.I'm sorry,but didn't the way Twilight and Pinkie Pie acted wanted you to pour gasoline into they're mouths?!" You want me to pour gas into my mouth, and then swallow a lighter, lit. "I mean that show is called 'My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic'! Not 'My Little Pony Friendship Is Not Magic'!" Does it make any difference? "Also,when Twilight started getting to the bottom of the mystery Joe said 'she's good'.Which was just PLAIN CREEPY.It sounded like Joe had a CRUSH on Twilight!" Who fucking cares about ponies having pony sex, that's NASTY! I'm not done with this yet. Category:Blog posts